Paul’s Blog: Not All About Rabbits

So I was a rabbit…And my superiour espionage skills had lead me to believe that there were others of my kind somewhere nearby so I went hunting for them. Then I saw it: builtifully built combinations of wood and wire, they truly were homes for those fellow rabbits but i longed for them to be free into the human-cage where i roamed. There were two females and 3 males. ‘This must be the last survivors of the plague and of the drought, kept here as specimins by the humans. This was shocking to me as I had always believed what my mum told me, which was that the only way into heaven was to have one’s bones bleached in the Australian sun, but when these rabbits grew old, I knew, they would be buried in the ground, as if they were nothing but part of the Earth. I set about to free them, digging around the base of the cages, but I couldn’t get though. There was some kind of smooth rock all around the edges. But I kept trying. Then suddly to my shock I was in human hands again! But these ones were bigger and stronged and held me comfortably. ‘A wild rabbit’ they yelled, but not at the screaming pitch that would attract predators. These were obviously slightly less-inferior humans but let me tell you what made me have a grudge against them:

After they caught me in their garden, with their rabbits, I thought that at the very worst I would be put into a magnificant home like the other rabbits there had, but no, I was put into a wire cage the same as in the previous human-cage. And much to my horror, there was no food or water. I was there for four days, including 3 nights where yet another fox circled my cage. This time, It was I who was humiliated. Then, on the fourth day, a big human and a smaller human came and took me out of the cage and the big one told the little one that it was ‘cruel’. I didn’t understand cruel. For me, that wire cage was just like being in the desert if I closed my eyes. I had only been humiliated by the way that fox didnt curl up and die when i cursed it, like the previous one. On this day I was put into one of the rabbit-homes, which I shared with two brothers, Katrina and Pashun. I mocked them for there names and then began to realise one of my previously unrealised ambititions: Dominance.

Hello this is Stychrome the rabbit dictating a message for you though Paul. I guess we should start with my life story well you already know who I am so no need to explain that. Well you should know! I am a dangerous rabbit don’t insult me by pretending not to know me. Well I was born out in the country underground in a borrow. I had 10 brothers and 10 sisters and we used to go out with mum once we were big enough, to destroy the countryside. It was good fun digging under fences and eating the roots of all the native vegetation. Mum showed us all the tricks.

When we grew into teenages I faught with my brothers a lot, we used to roll in circles and kick each others guts in. None of us really became dominant but we tried… and so we all went our separate directions. I heard that a lot of them had been killed by an epidemic spread by mosquitos. I always did hate mosquitos, almost as much as I hated mice. I was lucky to escape the plague. I did have hard times though: there was a drought and not much to eat or drink.. But the dust was nice to roll around in. I found a female rabbit for myself and stayed with her for a few weeks and we dug a nice burrow under the dust. Then she gave birth to a whole lot of kittens and they wouldnt shut up! There was about 10 of them and they took all of her attention so I was lonely. I got out of there as quick as I could and I went wandering accross the paddocks, eating the last of the plants as I went.

One morning at dawn a huge dog, a fox, started chasing me when i ran past it. I didnt see it crouched it the rocks. It was skinny and it smelt disgusting. I saw a tree ahead of me and I ran and jumped as high as I could as I reached it. I didn’t know that we could climb trees, that was something mum never taught me but i was holding on with the fox jumping up and down below me so i started to climb higher up the tree. Eventually I found a place where I could sit down and relax. I looked down to the ground and saw the fox sitting under the tree looking bored. It looked very small from the height I was up. The sun was getting higher too and it was getting hot so I yawned and went to sleep.

Continued tomorrow…